my life.
(Source: dad-isms)
Reblogged from Dad-isms: Things I've Learned So Far.
January 18, 2012, 8:29pm Comments
My™
About
This is where I share entirely un-random music, images, quotes and videos.Sometimes I write semi-personal things meant to be semi-public.
They're vaguely about my life and vaguely worded, just enough for you to vaguely relate.
If nothing else: look. laugh. listen.
live love.
Reblogged from Dad-isms: Things I've Learned So Far.
If you are scared to ruin it, then ‘it’ probably doesn’t exist
Reblogged from Dad-isms: Things I've Learned So Far.
December 11, 2010, 11:59am Comments
If it doesn’t feel uncomfortable at first, you probably didn’t make a big enough change
Reblogged from Dad-isms: Things I've Learned So Far.
December 05, 2010, 11:21am Comments
I just don’t want you to want Love so bad that you fall in love with the idea of Love and forget one of the essentials to great Love…and that is finding the right person (for you).
It is true that you can make a person your conduit to Love, but they may not be the one that will sacrifice a part of them for a part of you. And I know, no person wants to hear the word sacrifice and love in the same sentence and these people that despise those words are (later) the most frustrated over it because they think that love just works somehow, minus sweat?
Giving a part of you for a part of them isn’t an either/or proposition and to gloss over the ‘work’ part, which is vital to the long-term viability of your relationship, is to say sewing and reaping only works on the farm, when the truth is, that concept applies to every part of your life especially your relationship(s) with other people.
Reblogged from Dad-isms: Things I've Learned So Far.
November 14, 2010, 9:34am Comments
Reblog from dad-isms
Doing the next best thing since I can’t reblog this post - GREAT read, though I have some mixed opinions on certain parts.
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“A lot of people say that people (men, in particular) need to “sew their wild oats” before they settle down with one person, or else they’ll just do it later in life i.e. often end up cheating. What is your opinion on this? Is it possible for first loves to be only loves?” - Anonymous
This is one of the best questions I have been asked…Kudos!
I would say men, typically, are much more promiscuous than women but promiscuity isn’t viewed in the same light it used to be regarding women so I would say broadly…”things have changed” to a degree.
Having met my first wife in high school and my second wife soon after my first passed away….and also having several middle-aged, never married friends…I would say that the ‘sew wild oats’ phenomenon is most prominent in people with the lowest self-esteem.
Sleeping around with several different people goes much deeper than what might show on the surface. The value it says (not value’s we traditionally think of) is “this is about me and what I want…who really cares”. It looks macho or liberating, but really “macho and/or being liberated” are fronts people put on to hide inadequacies. For example, Anger is a sign of weakness, Humility is a sign of strength. Acting like you have great cards playing poker is a paper dragon, but acting nonchalant is a sure sign you will be steam rolled.
To follow this line of thinking…cheating is a sign of weakness and is typically on the same tree, different branch, of promiscuity.
YES, you can most definitely find your first and ONLY love early, and it can be stronger and more fulfilling EVERY year you are together. To say that a man specifically ‘needs’ to sew his oats later because he never got to early is an excuse for a larger issue.
Men cheat typically, not for sex, but for appreciation and attention. The wild oat scenario starts with flirtatious behavior…too much of it in fact and the guy that constantly needs validation and doesn’t get it at home will roam elsewhere…that is a fact!
I have never bought the wild oats argument. I have two close friends that waited until they were in their 30’s to have sex (not weird…wow) and another couple I have known for years that kept their virginity through high school and college, married, and have had a great marriage for 10 years now. Unfortunately, those people aren’t touted as the ideal in our society. They are looked at as freaks. I mean, who wants to watch a show where people get along for years, are monogamous, have great kids, do the right thing, and still romance each other after 15 years together? BORING…only to the constantly unhappy, constantly bitching, constantly searching, and constantly changing musical mattress crowd…but not to the top 5% of marriages that DO exist. I hope that is what you will strive for…
Thanks again for the great question!
Joe
July 08, 2010, 12:01am Comments
Don’t waste time worrying about what you did yesterday, its gone, its done, move on, and learn from it
Reblogged from Dad-isms: Things I've Learned So Far.
June 24, 2010, 12:25am Comments
One of the most heartbreaking things a person can say is, “I love you, I’m just not IN love with you anymore”. People don’t fall out of love…they fall out of trying to love, trying to love every day. Love can be tough. Love takes time. Love can try your patience. Love is euphoric. The highest form of love isn’t raw desire but rather sacrifice…daily sacrifice. Love is putting the other persons desires before your own and not keeping score. Love takes DAILY water to grow. Love is honesty and trust, meaning…If I tell you EVERYTHING, I know in my heart you will still love me. Love is often times the hardest thing you will ever do and will, at the same time, be your highest reward. Love isn’t a small airplane on autopilot, but a massive 747 which requires a pilot and co-pilot with shared happiness and faith in God as its course. Love can sometimes be a feeling, but more often is a choice. Love is forgiving. Love is humble. Love is honor…honoring your promises. Love is honoring your commitments even when it feels like you can’t do it anymore. Love is trusting enough to let your heart get broken (sometimes), knowing that the person you love will help you mend it back. Love is forever. It is lasting. It is eternal. When you find it, you will know it. When it is real, it can’t be faked. You feel it in every fiber of your being and there is nothing on earth like it. No price can be placed on it and nothing you do will feel as good as the day you have it. Love is knowing that if you had everything you owned taken away but were left with your love…that would really be all you needed.
dadisms strikes again. exceeept for maybe the last line.
Reblogged from Dad-isms: Things I've Learned So Far.
June 08, 2010, 11:47pm Comments
How will you know if he or she is the right one before getting married?
My standard advice for years has been this:
Find three things you absolutely can’t stand about a person and if you can love them despite those things, then you probably have the right one.
Mom said, “Find someone you want to change the least”.
In this case, I think I like Mom’s answer better
Interesting…something to think about.
Reblogged from Dad-isms: Things I've Learned So Far.
June 06, 2010, 1:13pm Comments
After getting ready for over an hour, no wife ever wants to hear the answer “fine” when she asks “how do I look tonight”
Reblogged from Dad-isms: Things I've Learned So Far.
May 11, 2010, 8:42am Comments
